Do You Need A Fan? Buy This One

EbayWell it seems as though at least one person out there is fed up with losing and it’s not a Miami Dolphins fan.  This guy has decided that he has had enough and is auctioning himself off on Ebay.  

So far, the Cincinnati Bengals fan has a bid of 5.01 for his year long services.  What exactly are those…services?

Well, according to his auction description, you are bidding on him being a fan of your NFL team.

 

I was born on August 15 1984.  My first Bengals memory is attending David Klingler’s first start at Riverfront Stadium. This happened in 1992.  So ever since I can remember, the Bengals have been terrible (94-167).  I was teased in 2005, but in true Bungel fashion they have really “restored the roar”.

Because of this, I am offering to become a fan of your team for the rest of the season.  Any team. Any city.  I will buy gear (hat, tshirt), and cheer on your team every Sunday.  Lucky for you, I have the Sunday Ticket so I won’t miss a game.  I will do everything I can to let you know that I am a fan of your team.  I will send pictures and emails so you know I am leading the charge in Cincinnati for whatever team you like.  Browns, Steelers, I don’t care.  As long as you promise to never give Mike Brown a dime of your money, your team will get a new biggest fan.

I am not doing this to make any money.  Any money that you bid will go directly to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.  I have selected that 100% of the sale goes to this non-profit organization.  I can provide proof of this if I need to.

I AM doing this because I have given up all hope.  I want to know what it’s like to be a fan of a team who has an owner and front office that cares about its team and the people who support his team.  I will use this year as a trial run.  If I have fun cheering on your team, you will have a fan for life.  Feel free to send over any questions, I will do my best to answer them.

I don’t want to cheer for the Bengals on Sunday, so I am setting this up as a 5 day auction.  You will have a new fan on Sunday.

So, do you want a fan who will cheer for you instead of having to cheer yourself?  Are you too lazy to rear your ugly head and yell obscenities at the television when something goes wrong?  No problem, buy this guy and have him do it for you.

People have auctioned off themselves in the past, from having a company brand tatooed on their forhead to selling off body parts in an attempt at humor, some have auctioned their shirts right off their back.  Amazing what people will do for fun.  So while auctioning off yourself as a cheering fan may not be a bad way to go.  In fact, it seems that maybe the Bengals themselves should offer up a bunch of dough to keep him…afterall, it couldn’t hurt, right?

Topics: Cincinnati Bengals, Ebay, Miami Dolphins

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  • Deof Movestofca

    All I gotta say is that if you’re not a fan during the bad times, you don’t deserve to call yourself a fan during the good times.

  • http://phinphanatic.com Brian Miller

    You would never catch me doing that.  

  • http://www.miamidolphins.co.uk Shady

    Ummm…. looks like I’m winning the bidding so far. Hope he wasn’t planning on supporting the winning bidders team for real! :) LOL

  • http://phinphanatic.com Brian Miller

    I hope the winner is a Lions fan myself…LOL.

  • spooneman

    I’m sure the Raiders could use hin. Heck he could be their next head coach. No one else wants the job.

  • RickyNeverInhaled

    shady and brian is this really on ebay? shady you are a dolphin fan right? i thought about bidding on it if its real, but if you are a dolphins fan and this is real, i won’t need to.

    I enjoy turning people into dolphins fans. i’m doing a good job at it with my kids. i’ve tried with others but it hasn’t worked.

  • http://phinphanatic.com Brian Miller

    yes this guy is really doing this on Ebay, but its only for one year that he will pledge his support.