Tell Me About Your Mother
By Brian Miller
The rooms have soft lighting, a black leather couch sits in the middle of the room and an old maroon and gold high back chair sits across from it. Notepad in hand, the shrink asks, “tell me about your mother“. That will be the first days of Bill Parcells, new VP of Football Operations for the Miami Dolphins, who starts work today.
Parcells is expected to fly into Miami sometime early Thursday and begin a process of talking to the coaches, players, staff, and General Manager. He has said that he will “listen” and ask questions to get an idea of why this team had the problems it did this year. Then, he will formulate a plan to restore the health of the franchise. Bill Parcells will be an expensive shrink for the Phins in the coming days and maybe weeks.
The season is all but officially over, the first pick in the draft belongs to Miami by a comfortable two game margin. The task of rebuilding this once proud franchise on the field begins in less than a week.
Players will be questioned, especially team leaders like Jason Taylor and Zach Thomas. Parcells recently said, “You take your good players and you build around them, Jason is a pretty good player.” What he didn’t say was that Jason will be going into his 11th season and rebuilding is not what he wants to go through.
Like any really good psychological head case, this franchise did not become this way overnight. The history of their decline is almost as legendary as their rise to power. The Miami Dolphins could almost be compared to the rise and fall of the Roman Empire. Almost. Let’s face it, prior to the arrival of Jimmy Johnson, no one ever really wanted to play the Dolphins…now, they are looked for on the schedule for a different reason.
The task of changing that falls squarely on the shoulders of one Bill Parcells. Parcells will be on the tip of everyones tongue from now until he leaves for something else. Don’t like the pick in the draft? Blame it on Parcells. Don’t like that play call? Blame it on Parcells. It really doesn’t matter if BP was responsible or not…he is now.
Most fans see BP as the man who will try and “Raise the Titanic”. He will be in charge of football operations, he is not the head coach and has repeatedly said that he will not be the GM. He has also said that the GM should have full power of player personnel issues. So what will BP be responsible for in terms of the team? Nothing. Everything.
Lay back on the couch, close your eyes, imagine yourself at the 2008 NFL draft. The Dolphins are on the clock. The card is handed to the Commish, the name is read, it is not the guy you wanted. In fact, it is not the name of your top 3. With all the shock and disappointment of hearing Ted Ginn, Jr…you feel what? Blame Who? It is o.k. to tell me, that is why your here.
Do you blame Parcells? Of course you do, is he not the guy overseeing the team? How could he let something like that happen. Why did he keep Mueller…why did he hire Ireland? It’s the stupid coaches fault…right?
I’m sorry, close your eyes again. Smell the fresh cut grass of the field, the sun beats down upon you from above and the stadium noise is deafening. Your on the sideline. 4th and 1. Miami down by 2. 1 minute left in the game. 2 time outs Ball at their 48. Coach goes for it, the Dolphins are stopped, Miami loses.
Why the hell didn’t Bill Parcells call down and order them to go for the field goal? The coach is an idiot…why did Parcells keep Cameron? Why did Parcells hire so and so. This is ridiculous. Someone needs to be responsible for this mess….it’s because we didn’t draft McFadden….these guys suck.
You can open your eyes now, we were just talking about what ifs and in reality, these are more “not likely’s”. For the first time in a long time, a football guy will be running the show and things have to be looking up in Miami. The players will feel it, everyone will feel it. There will be an air of confidence and there should if nothing else, be a return to that feeling of pride. Bill Parcells will be the responsible party because that is what every fan thinks he will be doing…coaching, managing the draft, managing the roster. Bill Parcells will take the blame and the credit. The psych sessions start today.
Here is a prescription for Paxil. Follow the directions on the bottle and call me in 6 months.