Women Don't Teach Women To Talk Football


Sometimes surfing the net can be fun. There is an escape to our own reality, a way to interact with others without having to actually pretend you like them. You can get more information from an hour of surfing than you can from 10 hours of watching all of ESPN’s 300 channels.

Then there is also the comedy antics of those who pretend to be in the know. The opinions of the few that rarely are based on anything factual.  For once, my ire is not pointed at Armando Salguero…unless of course he wears a pink dress and his alter ego is really that of a woman…hmmmmm.  Sorry, I digress. Leave it to a woman who tries to teach football to more women to make you laugh. And you wonder why your wife doesn’t “get it”.  Women should not teach women about football.  Not all of them anyways.

Over at a website called SportSquee: The Girls Guide To Football where the sites tag line is “you can be a total girl, and still be a sportsfan”, Margee has decided to inform the women of the world why you should and should not be a Dolphins fan. Keep in mind that according to Margee’s profile on the site she says she is the one women “you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley” that goes without saying considering she also writes a hockey blog.

"Why You Should (I think she meant shouldn’t) Root For Them: Well, if you’re good person, you probably shouldn’t root for the Dolphins. In all seriousness, the Phins make the Jets look like a well-run, fully functional team. They’ve been the worst team in football for two seasons. They passed on Brady Quinn in 2007, despite the fact that they had no quarterback and he was the most NFL-ready QB in the draft. They picked Ted Ginn, Jr. a speedster receiver who was projected to go much later in the draft. The Ricky Williams hapablap set them back quite a bit. They just traded their best player, Dancing With the Stars stud Jason Taylor, and released stalwart Zach Thomas. Bill Parcells is the new head of football operations, which is definitely reason enough to hate them. It seems like there’s no end in sight for the misery in Miami. Plus, they’re the Dolphins."

My first thought was of course, o.k. she is from NY, she is a Jet’s fan and then started reading blah, blah, blah blah blah blah.  So I went back and read it again.  Trying desperately to read words and not hear the Charlie Brown teacher talking.  The first line hit me.  “If your a good person”.  WTF is that?  A good person?  Even a Jets fan has to be smarter than that right?  Seriously.  Have you been to NY?  The loud applause of impatient drivers and their horns?  How about the drunk Jets fans who tend to spend more time puking in line for the urinals then actually watching a game?

While Margee points out that being a “Miami Dolphins” fan apparently makes you not a nice person, I find that a bit contrite coming from a woman who supports a team that recently had their fans exposed to a Na’wleans type “Mardi-Gras” festival of making women bare their breasts for passage on a walkway in the stadium.  Without giving them beads in return?  Yeah, that’s a good person.

While the Dolphins may be the doormats of the AFC East the last two years, the fact that Jets have really been the doormat of the AFC East and most of the NFL for, well, forever, seems a little funny to me.  Of course you have to kick the Dolphins while they are down, it’s the first time really in the history of the franchise that it has been this way.  I really don’t like the feeling of what the Jets fans have felt since Super Bowl III.

So while women are an intelligent and there are some that know more about the sport I love than I will ever know, there are still those who really shouldn’t be allowed to talk about it.  Liv Tyler comes to mind.  I have been trying to get my wife to know football for 15 years and I have since decided that her knowing nothing is much better than her pretending to know something.  Margee would do herself well to sit down, read the world wide web, and realize that her precious J.E.T.S Jets Jets Jets, are filed under “NFL Laughing Stock” in the NFL handbook.

It does make sense why there are so many Jets fans in the world.  It’s easy to spell.