Jimmy Johnson Re-Surfaces To Make Me Cringe
By Brian Miller
There are very few things on TV that I will watch religiously. WWII movies…Definitely. The Miami Dolphins…are you freaking kidding? I have a bucket to piss in because I don’t want to miss a thing! (o.k. not really). When it comes to programs on the networks…not a lot gets me rolling. I love the Amazing Race, Hell’s Kitchen, and my all time favorite is Survivor. Love it and wish to hell I had the balls to apply for it.
Two seasons ago on the Amazing Race, I watched with adoration as two former Miami Dolphins cheerleaders trotted the globe only to come up short on the races’ quest. That was fun. Now, I have to sit through my favorite show and watch the former silver haired devil, Jimmy Johnson, compete.
Yes, CBS announced the cast this morning making the rumors official. Jimmy Johnson will be on the 21st season.
Now, I know that a lot of people don’t watch or even like Survivor and that is o.k. But for me, I enjoy it, but long ago I stopped watching the FOX pre-game show because frankly I loathe me some Jimma. Say what you will, defend him if you must, but I directly attribute the mess that “WAS” these Miami Dolphins to him.
His quitting on the team, his pushing Don Shula out, his complete disrespect to the achievements of Shula and the team, and of course, his personal hand picked successor, Dave Wannstedt. From Wannstedt, to the 4-10 season, the Jamar Fletcher and Eddie Moore drafts, the Drew Brees joke, Jay Fiedler…OH MY GOD I WANT TO SCREAM. It all led to Nick Saban and Cam Cameron. Luckily that chain has led us to where we are and hopefully that is in a far better direction long term…because if it doesn’t…I’m blaming Jimmy.
So while my favorite 8 PM time slot will not be dedicated to watching Jimmy compete on my favorite show, I will have to take comfort in the hopes that two things occur. One, that Jimmy lasts long enough to be completely and insanely miserable surrounded by a bunch of lazy individuals who do nothing, and two, that he makes it long enough to feel the biting pain of all the insects and the starvation of eating nothing but rice and clams before he gets voted off. If there was a 3rd, I would hope that it all of this leads to Jimmy being Jimmy and citing his desire to return to my 2nd favorite place on Earth, Islamorada, Fl. and simply quits.
Maybe I’m a tad bit hateful towards him but I’ve never been a fan all that much and have shown more sympathy towards Nick Saban. Either way, Jimmy Johnson will be on this falls Survivor and it should be interesting to see how one person who for a long time demanded nothing but 100 percent perfection from his players, deals with a bunch of lazy, tired, hungry, individuals who could care less that he won anything but an immunity challenge.
Perhaps maybe I’m just bitter and jealous. After all, he is on Survivor, I am not. He lives in Islamorada, and I do not. He owns a boat and a tan to go with it. I do not. Of course, he calls Dave Wannstedt a friend. I do not. Maybe it’s a push. Good luck Jimmy, I will be watching, and despite my outward nit-picking…will be rooting you on as well. Maybe. I tend to root for the hot girls in the bikini’s.
I wonder how long it will take for them to realize who he is? I guess we will soon find out. See all the new Survivor cast members here.
Speaking of Survivor, don’t forget to join our Survivor Fantasy league for 10.00 dollars, with 75% of that entry fee going to the Miami Dolphins Charity organization. You can Email me at Phinphanatic23@yahoo.com for the league info and the payment option.