Five Questions With A Patriot Writer

The Miami Dolphins do not open their 2011 season until Monday evening but we got a head start on trying to find those game changing details that might affect the outcome of the game.

We went to a solid source of New England Patriots information, Jamie Pacheco of MusketFire.com.  Jamie was more than willing to help us out here and didn’t mind the very tough questions that we posed for him.

There are only so many times you can ask about Tom Brady’s arm or Bill Belichick‘s play calling.  The fact is there are more important things we need to know about the Patriots.  The stuff that Dolphins fans really care about.  So hit the “continue reading” button and get a laugh out of the questions I wanted answers to.

1:  Can you tell me how many losses it will take for Tom Brady to cut his hair or did he lose a bet with Clay Mathews of Green Bay?

"JP – Brady actually did cut his hair somewhat. It’s shorter in the back but still a little longer in the front, so think of it as a mullet in reverse."

2:  The Patriots added Albert Haynesworth to their roster as a free agent.  How much money have they lost so far on his eating bill?  Assuming of course that he is still fat.

"JP – Haynesworth is listed on the Patriots’ website at 335 pounds. The Patriots were smart in putting a performance clause in his contract, and Haynesworth needs a sack to offset each sack lunch provided by the team. Haynesworth will have a monster season."

3:  How much time did Wes Welker spend looking at pictures of Rex Ryan’s wife’s feet this off-season?

"JP – I think the proper question is, “How much time did Rex Ryan spend looking at pictures of Wes Welker’s feet?” My guess is probably only a few minutes and then he had to go eat a God damn snack."

4:  Does Bill Belichick wash his hoodie one time a year or only after losses?

"JP – Belichick washes his hoodies?"

5:  Tom Brady spent a lot of time on his back against Detroit.  Is he used to that now with Giselle the money maker in their family?

"JP – If that’s the case, I need to start growing my hair out. If he’s spending that much time on his back with Giselle, he can tie the long hair on his head to the short hair on his a$$ and still be the man."

If by now you haven’t figured it out, our Q&A was completely tongue in cheek.  In all seriousness, Jamie did a great job helping me out by allowing me to take a more humorous angle to a weekly feature we do here with opposing team writers.  You can expect the same throughout the season with out division rivals.