Miami Dolphins safeties wrongfully in ESPN analysts crosshairs

Brandon Jones . (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)
Brandon Jones . (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images) /

We’re in that part of the NFL calendar where not much is really going in regards to the NFL which means not much is happening with the Miami Dolphins. That isn’t going to stop guys like the worldwide leader and me from churning out content. But what I have for you is the early candidate for the most clueless, most off-base analysis written about the Miami Dolphins of the year.

The NFL Draft is over. Free agency is basically over, although there are still some moves that can still be made. Will that include the Miami Dolphins who have around the top five in most money left? Not sure. I’d love if Chris Grier went out and signed JC Tretter or any kind of real, actual center.

Besides the b-side type players that are still looking for jobs, there isn’t much else going on. Yes, I’m aware that every single throw made by Tua is going to be analyzed like it’s the Zapruder Film(this joke has been out there since last year when everyone was trying to figure out the air-yards of every Tua deep ball so I don’t feel too bad using it since I’ve been throwing it around for a while and that I can actually chat anyone up to about the Zapruder Film such as frame 313) and ESPN and others are going to fawn over it because Tua equals money in their pocket.

By the way, that’s the game for all you fine folks wondering why Tua gets talked about like he does. Tua and many other quarterbacks generate a ton of clicks. Just ask Omar. I’m not hating on it. I’d just rather everyone just be upfront about it and go about their business. Of course, I know that’s not going to happen so whatever.

This article that I’m referencing includes easily the most not even close analysis of the Miami Dolphins and what holes they need to fill can be found on ESPN+. I don’t have ESPN+ and never planned on getting it so I can’t include the entire article. Based on this absolutely anti-sharp breakdown of what the Miami Dolphins need to address, I think I’m doing you a favor not being able to give you the link to the whole thing. Here is what “Football Outsiders” which based on this article is a slap in the face to the real Outsiders, Scott Hall RIP, and Kevin Nash, had to say about the Miami Dolphins;

The phrase. “tell me you don’t know anything about football without telling me you don’t know anything about football” is extremely played out and I refuse to say it because of that. It gets tossed around way too much. But since this is the really smart Football Outsiders at ESPN, it sort of applies.

It goes after the defense, specifically the safety position. In my best Herman Edwards voice “Hello!?” If you want to go after Tua and his arm strength, which is an easy target, or that Mike McDaniel has zero experience calling plays and being a head coach, or that the offensive line still has a few question marks, that would be fair and make sense.

But to say that the defense which was very good last year specifically the safety position where rookie Jevon Holland made the all-rookie all-defensive team and I’m sure was just outside the top five in being a candidate for defensive rookie of the year, because they’re on rookie deals as if that means anything, and that the Dolphins defense DVOA against WR1s and WR2s were ranked 9th and 10th, then please do us all a favor and please take a lap.

Jevon Holland was an absolute stud last year. The rookie second-round pick came in and was one the biggest playmakers on the entire team. He brought the wood and was one of the most dependable guys on the defense. His stat-line was also excellent. 69 Total Tackles, 2.5 Sacks, 3 TFLs, 7 QB Hits, 10 PDs, 2 INTs, Allowed QB Rating of 109.7 is what Holland finished with.

Brandon Jones, who is a heat-seeking missile and a master of not falling for quarterback pump fakes preceded by taking him down is a very good player as well.

Even Eric Rowe is quite serviceable. Not saying he’s the future but when he’s in the game I’m not thinking that he’s going to get torched unless Darren Waller or Travis Kelce is opposite of him.

The overall point here is that this pseudo analysis of the Miami Dolphins is going to be tough to top for being one the not even in the ballpark analyses written about the team. I know it’s only May and there’s an actual season to take place but this trash is going to be the front runner for a while unless some other nincompoop decides to say something like the Patriots are firmly ahead of the Dolphins or that slide at the Miami Dolphin’s practice facility isn’t that fun. Time will tell

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

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