Miami Dolphins: How much do I really hate the Buffalo Bills?
They weren’t Buffalo Bills players to me this last Monday night as Damar Hamlin lay lifeless on the field in Cincinnati. I didn’t see the hit and the fall live, as I was getting some housework done and paying moderate attention to the audio. But when I entered the living room and saw a close up on Josh Allen’s face, it wasn’t the Josh Allen that I was accustomed to loathing and cursing.
It was Josh Allen the human. Josh Allen with a look on his face that I don’t think I’ve ever seen another football player make in my 34 years of life. As I grabbed the remote to turn up the volume, ESPN’s broadcast began to show similar expressions on other player’s faces, as well as concerned fans and coaches, and an ambulance.
I wasn’t watching football. There was no field, no game. There were no players. All I saw were people. Scared, distressed, concerned people that were dealing with circumstances that none of them were remotely prepared to deal with. Their uniforms disappeared as quickly as the lump in my throat formed, and the result of a game I cared deeply about five minutes earlier had become completely meaningless.
My fandom was gone. And certainly any hatred.
I did things I never fathomed I’d do. If the NFL had their awful way and had play resumed, I would have been rooting for the Bills to win for their fallen teammate. I tweeted “#BillsMafia”. I thought it was wonderful that Hard Rock Stadium in Miami was lit up in red and blue in support, something I would have thought was blasphemy just a couple of days earlier. I cared so much about the 2022 NFL season and how the Dolphins and Bills finished the season, and all of a sudden, I didn’t.
There will come a time again, I’m sure. A meaningful game between the Miami Dolphins and the Buffalo Bills. One where I’ll talk my trash and root hard against the opposition. But it’ll come from a different place. It’ll be replaced by a respectful disdain that I will never be able to shake given that it’s in my DNA, but it’ll be there.
And if you ask me today if I hate the Buffalo Bills?
Yeah. I guess. They’re division rivals. I have to.