5 Dolphins players you would want in a zombie apocolypse
By Brian Miller
The zombie apocalypse has arrived! You are trying to survive and you can have five Miami Dolphins players at your side as you run, hide, and live. I thought it would be a little fun to have a tongue in cheek look at things for a change instead of all the serious talk about the team.
I know, zombies aren’t real…yet. Wink, wink, say no more. The Walking Dead is one of the most popular shows on television and it was only a matter of time before I decided to incorporate the dead into an article. I mean after all a loss this week to the Buffalo Bills and the Dolphins very well may be walking dead the rest of the season.
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This is my first choice by far. If there was an apocalyptic zombie attack who better to have at your side? Jones is not only fast but he is relentless. In fact he would probably have a knife through the head of a zombie before you even knew there was a zombie coming your way. Jones has been fantastic this season and plays all over the field. He has been an integral part of the Dolphins defense and even early in the season when the team was losing badly, Jones was playing at a pro-bowl level. So Reshad, I’m heading your way when it breaks out.
You need someone with great vision and a bulls mentality and that is what Jenkins delivers. Jenkins isn’t afraid to hit the most brutal lineman so in the event of an attack you would want someone with the desire and skill set to take on more than one zombie at a time. Over the course of the season Jenkins has proven to be the Dolphins best linebacker of the entire defense. He swarms to the ball and often makes plays at the line of scrimmage. Jenkins is a beast so who better to have on your team when you are trying to kill “beasts”?
Say what you want about Thomas’ blocking ability. He is inconsistent and often plays slow. Who better to have beside you when you need to run quickly from a hoard of zombies? Let’s face it someone has to be eaten and Thomas will fight them off long enough for you to get away. Then he will slow down the herd simply by being a victim. While Thomas’ play on the field this year hasn’t been great due to inconsistency the good news is that he will at times play very well so while you can’t rely on him to save your rear end, you know that in the end, he will be the sacrificial lamb that gives you enough time to escape.
So you need to get to the remote cabin but there is no trail and the surroundings are teaming with the un-dead. What you need is someone who will run through them, around, them, lead them away, and escape with nothing more than the blood of the dead. Landry is the Dolphins best 2nd round draft pick in decades and while everyone waits for anything resembling a sophomore slump, Landry preparation and drive is only making him one of the best Dolphins receivers in team history.
Sometimes you need someone smaller to get into and out of those tight spaces. You need someone who can help against rival survivors. If you need to steal supplies or fend off a gang of marauders trying to survive as well and are not willing to join forces then Grimes is the guy that will go in and intercept their intentions. Grimes is not showing signs of his age on the field. This season it was expected that Grimes would start to slow but instead he is still making big plays against far bigger receivers and the Dolphins defense is far better with him in the game than they are when he is not.
O.k. so there you have it. A little fun on a rather mundane afternoon. Feel free to tell us who you would want or more importantly how absolutely absurd this entire article is. I know, it’s five minutes of your life you will never get back.