Miami Dolphins 2018 draft: Mocking 1-11 one more time

The NFL Draft is now less than three hours away and it is time for one last Miami Dolphins first round mock.

The NFL draft is marketed as a hybrid of a frat boy’s dream and the Yule Ball. The league wants you to buy into the magic of a team acquiring the next hall of famer, young men’s dreams being realized, and draft room drama. In the same thought, they also want images of fans dressed in modified jerseys with their hopeful draft picks name on the back, beer in hand, with a child in the background openly weeping on the thought of the newly acquired pick not working out.

I’m not going to lie, I freaking love the draft. I love that ABSOLUTELY NOBODY knows what’s going to happen. I think I heard that the accuracy of expert mock drafts are 5%. Somewhere in the world, an expert is being paid millions for being 5% accurate. This is literally the job I need. So, let’s give it a shot.

Along with my draft predictions, I will include my 5 closest draft experts. Dan (the token Eagles fan), Chris (the opinionated), Brent (my father and the entire reason I suffer as a Dolphin fan), Mike (my boss), and Hayden (the studious co-worker). Lets join them at the water cooler and hash this out.

1. Browns: If I legit hear one more QB being associated with this pick, I’m going to watch Draft Day and actually believe the Browns are this lost. I think the flavor of the hour is Mayfield. However, Josh Allen is also linked and poor Sam Darnold is still drifting as the former projection. Even with Jarvis and Josh becoming the JJ brothers in Cleveland, whoever ends up as this draft pick has a 57% chance of not getting through the season. Do the Browns play it safe and go with the consensus pick, Sam Darnond, or do they try to get sexy and go with big arm Allen or Jim McMahon‘s secret son Mayfield.

My pick- Darnold

Hayden- Allen; Brent- Mayfield; Dan- Darnold; Mike- Barkley (why not)

2. Giants: As if we didn’t have enough QB drama, we go away from QBs and find a RB/Edge battle. Perhaps they are all fooling us and want to get a successor to Eli. Everyone but my beloved father is going with Barkley here, including myself. The Giants will attempt to take the pressure off of Eli and give him a tool that will block, catch, run inside and outside the box while making Odell even more dangerous. Taking a running back this high is unprecedented in the last few years, but I think the Giants are just the dreamers to do so.

My pick: Barkley

Everyone else but Brent- Barkley; Brent- Darnold

3. Jets: The Jets want us to believe they want Mayfield. They are sold on him. He is a sure thing. They even have his name on their ring of honor already. There is so much smoke coming from this camp that you have to think there is a forest fire of certainty. Except, I’m not buying it. There is no way the Jets’ draft room got this transparent. They are definitely going with a gun slinger with a trade that expensive, and they know exactly who they want which means they are pretty certain he will be there.

My pick: Allen

Hayden- Darnold; Brent- Allen; Dan- Mayfield; Mike- Mayfield

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4. Browns: With their QB in hand and the offense being heavily invested in this summer, the Browns are going to look defense and don’t have to look hard. Chubb is waiting for them and he will be wearing the brown and orange this year. I’ll even go as far as to say that if Chubb and Barkley don’t fall to this spot, they will trade down. However, Chubb will fall and he will be snatched

My pick: Chubb

Hayden- Chubb; Brent- Barley; Dan- Chubb; Mike- Allen

5. Broncos: John Elway is laying bait for a ransom here. The Broncos have a moderate chance of trading down from this spot, but Elway is dying for a QB. If one falls here, he will snatch it. I see Allen as the perfect tool set that Elway would value: monster arm, good mobility, no fear of throwing it deep. Allen seems like he would need some help with technique and a defensive minded head coach will need to rely on his staff to inform him on the time needed to polish Allen.

My pick: Allen

Hayden- Nelson; Brent-Chubb; Dan- Trade; Mike- Trade

6. Colts: Unless Irsay doesn’t trust Luck’s shoulder, this pick would not be a QB. The Colts have not kept it secret that they would like to move down and collect more picks. Considering their situation and the fact that so far nobody in my top 10 has slipped, I believe this rumor. The Cardinals have said for the right price they will jump and the Bills don’t have to pay as much to swap, considering they are within the top 15 picks. I see the Bills leapfrogging to this spot and grabbing a QB

My pick: Trade and Rosen

Hayden- Mayfield; Brent- Ward; Dan- Trade; Mike Trade

7. Bucs: I have had a surprisingly good amount of conversation about this trade with Hayden, who is a Bucs fan. With have both come to an accord, Bucs are using this on a defensive back. It’s not a secret that the DB’s in Tampa are hot garbage and the Bucs need answers immediately. They are also in prime position to snag the best in the draft. Ward from Ohio State would be a day one starter and a player that could be a long term answer.

My pick: Ward

Hayden- James; Brent- Fitzpatrick; Dan- Fitzpatrick; Mike- Trade (honestly, three trades in a row)

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8. Bears: The Bears desperately need a interior offensive lineman. It is considered their top need by many experts. Fate could smile on da bears tonight with the best rated guard a draft has seen in a few years. Nelson from Notre Dame is a monster and he reminds me of a better version of his Fighting Irish brother, Zach Martin. If that is the case, Chicago would be wise to lock a rare top 10 pick guard.

My pick: Nelson

Hayden- Fitzpatrick; Brent- R. Smith; Dan- Nelson; Mike- Ward

9. 49ers: So much of this pick depends on Foster’s bizarre case. As of the time I’m writing this, Foster’s girlfriend pulled a 180 and stated that he didn’t abuse her. We know from the Jarvis case that the NFL will still investigate an abuse case and Foster could still be subject to discipline. Supposing that Foster evades substantial discipline, the 49ers could do a variety of things with this pick. I think the 49ers don’t trade down and shore up on LB depth, especially with so much in the balance.

My pick: R. Smith

Hayden- R. Smith; Brent- Tremaine; Dan- Trade; Mike- Fitzpatrick

10. Raiders: I want so badly for Gruden to do something crazy in this spot, that its killing me. I want him to use the word ‘big fella’ every time he refers to this pick. I want him to pick something old school and have no regard to sexiness. I want a ‘Gruden Grinder’. Vita Vea is that man. Nothing is as big as Vea and Rosen can testify to his power. He is your plug and play DT and he will be the non-sexy that I think Gruden wants.

My pick: Vea

Hayden- Ward; Brent- Rosen; Dan- Ward; Mike- Trade

11. Dolphins: I want to have the nastiest LB core in the league. I want physicality, range, nastiness, leadership, and depth. I never want to see another tight end burn us down the seam or middle. One of the linebackers needs to a ex-navy seal. Snake tattoos on necks and upper thighs are also mandatory. I want my sexy pick to drool on their knuckles. That pick is Tremaine Edmonds. His potential is truly a home run pick. He has all the necessary tools to be whatever the Dolphins need him to be and mix him with Raekwon McCmillan, which is a linebacker core I can salute.

My pick Edmonds

Don’t be afraid to let me have it. Scream at me for not predicting a QB in the first round that would be a third stringer. If the Dolphins are ok with watching elite tight ends change games due to ‘three steps behind’ Alonso, then I want to run the Wild-Cat with Pat White.

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